Travel Tips from Dauber, part 2: Miscellaneous travel

Another travel holiday is coming up, so I figured it'd be nice to put up some more travel tips. No particular order here, but it may be very Chicago-centric.

• If you're flying out of Chicago Midway International Airport, be prepared for the most useless wait you'll ever experience. Seriously, there's next to nothing to do there. Food options are extremely limited -- you're pretty much limited to sandwiches, non-deep-dish pizza (yet you can get Pizzeria Uno pizza...at frickin' NEWARK International!!), and ice cream. That's pretty much it.


• If you take the Metra into Chicago via La Salle Street and need to catch the Brown Line (or, as my friend Jim calls it, the "Skidmark"), the best way to do it is to go out through the east exit, and when you get down to the corner of the street, turn left. There's a hidden Skidmark entrance right around the corner. This way you can avoid the maze of pathways leading to the different CTA lines.


• If you take the Orange Line to Midway, be prepared to walk...and walk...and walk....and walk...and walk...and finally see a sign that you're inside the terminal: a Dunkin' Donuts! Ahh...but wait...you still have more parking deck to walk...and walk....and walk...and walk...and walk...through.


• If you fly into Newark International Airport, be sure you plan for an additional two hours, as that might be how long you'll wait at baggage claim, no matter what airline you take at what time of the day or night. Midway isn't as bad -- you'll wait maybe 30 minutes.


• Most people in Monmouth County, New Jersey know about the speed trap on 33 westbound that's literally on the border of Freehold and Manalapan. Usually during rush hour there's a cop hiding right there by the Manalapan border sign. Be careful, though -- sometimes the cop will be a little ways up, not quite within sight of the sign. Keep in mind that "Manalapan" is an old Lenape word that means "radar trap," so be sure you're not going a hair over 55 when you cross into town.


• One of the biggest lies I was ever told was told to me by my father. (In fact, two of the biggest lies I was ever told were told to me by my father.) Having worked on an aircraft carrier while he was in the Navy, he told me, before my wife and I took my honeymoon cruise, that the ships are so big that "you can't even feel the waves." BIG LIE. Thankfully I don't get seasick, but just to be safe, bring the proper meds with you if you've never cruised before. What's really cool is that if you cruise through some rough surf at night, the rocking of the ship will put you to sleep pretty quickly.


• If for whatever reason you're forced to go to New York City, don't ever, ever drive into Manhattan unless you leave six hours early, have enough money to give to the toll taker at the bridge or tunnel (last I checked it was seven dollars), and have an absolutely guaranteed parking spot somewhere.


• Boston is a fantastic place to visit, but for the love of God, don't even attempt to drive within miles of that place. Take Amtrak or some other form of transportation that doesn't require that you drive.


• At some airports, they now have these devices that you walk under, and they shoot quick blasts of air at you, from your feet to your head. It's a mechanical way of patting you down. In case the blasts hit your ears, be prepared to lose a significant amount of your hearing for a couple of hours, as I learned the hard way. I complained to the TSA staff at the airport about that, and I was told that I can request a manual pat-down to avoid it. Next time I flew, I saw that I was being led to one of those things, and I asked for a manual pat-down instead. The TSA person said no way. I told him that last time I flew one of the puffs went right into my ears and killed my hearing for three hours and that I was told I could get a manual pat-down in lieu of the machine. Thankfully, another TSA staffer overheard me and told the one I was dealing with that yes, that's correct, and led me down another path. All was good.


• If you're visiting Chicago and flying into O'Hare and have an EZ-Pass transponder, bring it with you -- on January 1, 2005, the state of Illinois doubled all of its tolls...and they were atrociously expensive to begin with. There are no tolls in the city of Chicago, but there are in the northwest suburbs, including Rosemont, which is the actual location of O'Hare. The tolls did not double for IPass users -- and IPass is now compatible with EZ-Pass.


• If you're visiting the state of Illinois, a little tip for you: it is perfectly legal to make a left-turn onto a one-way street (that goes left, of course!) if you're at a red light.


• Visiting Chicago and looking for a beach along the lake, and you just can't get to Oak Street Beach or North Avenue Beach because they're too crowded and the parking lots are full? There's a beach right off Navy Pier that not many people know about, and ergo doesn't get crowded. I believe it's called Olive Beach. It actually faces north, which is unusual for a beach on Lake Michigan.

That's all for now. I hope you've found these tips helpful. And if you drive with Florida or New York plates, I hope you get your bloody license revoked.