You're FIRED!...uhh...I think...

Did you ever have to fire someone, only to fail?

I have.

I don't know why I thought of this now, but a few years ago I actually tried to fire someone. Unsuccessfully.

Where I was working at the time, I was in charge of staffing test proctors for practice tests. We had one that was constantly screwing up. I think the last straw was a time when she had to be in Glen Ridge, New Jersey, by 8:45 in the morning. She called me at 9:15 that morning to let me know there weren't any answer sheets and wanted to know what to do. Thing is...I would always make sure the proctors had their materials well in advance so that they could check and make sure that we included everything, and if they didn't, we'd still have ample time to make enough arrangements. This proctor obviously didn't do that. Also, I found out she was late getting to the site. Why was she late? Because she got lost when she left her home in Jersey City and headed east on I-80 instead of west.

Now...mind you that I'm not a native of New Jersey, but I do know this much...if you head east out of Jersey City, you'll end up over, under, or in the Hudson River and heading into Lower Manhattan. Think about that.

So I sent her an e-mail telling her she's been making too many careless mistakes and that I would not be allowing her to do any more tests. I even pointed out how everybody knows that if you go ANYWHERE in New Jersey from Jersey City, you can only go west!

Then she sent me an e-mail begging me to let her proctor another test. The test she was referring to was one where we were expecting so many students that we needed multiple proctors. I thought about it, and realized that if I give the materials to one of the other proctors, then even if the incompetent proctor were late, the materials would already be there, and the other proctors can at least get the students started with the test. My boss told me that in this situation, we can go ahead and give her another chance.

Rats. The one time I tried to fire somebody, and it failed.

Oh well. I know I'll get the opportunity again. There will always be incompetence in the world.