Really, is my name that difficult?
I never really did like my name. It's not a terribly common name like Joe, Bob, Mike, Jeff, Dave, Tom, Tim, Jim, or even Abdul. It's spelled weird, and its pronunciation is nothing like its spelling.
As a four-year-old I went through life in nursery school being called "Seen" by those in charge of the place. When I was in third grade a substitute teacher thought my name rhymes with "Leon." Now, honestly; have these people never heard of Sean Penn? Sean Young? Sean Astin? Sean Freakin' CONNERY?
Perhaps the most agony I've had to put up with is at Panera. (No, Mom, it's not "Pantera" -- that's something completely different!) You order your food, and after they take your order you have to give them your first name so they can yell it for all to hear when your order's ready. I usually pay by debit card when I get lunch at Panera. My name is on my debit card. I repeat, MY NAME IS ON MY DEBIT CARD. Yet they still spell it wrong. I've seen my name appear on the receipt as Shan, Shon, Shaun, Shawn, Shane, Shown, and for some reason, even "Shak." Yes, Shak!
One day when I went to Panera and was asked for my first name, I spelled it rather than say it so they'd spell it right. After I spelled it, the cashier said "Oh...Sean...okay..." and looked at me as if to say "You really didn't have to spell it, hon; I know how to spell it!" So I wait for my Caesar salad (and not the seafood bisque -- why won't they bring that back, dammit?!), and when it's ready, I hear my name yelled, clear as day: "Uhhh.......Si-in??????" *sigh*
Today I went to Panera to get a Caesar salad for lunch. When the cashier asked for my name, I said, "Put down 'Bob.' That's not my real name, but every time I come here and give my real name, it gets either misspelled or mispronounced."
I hear Bob's name announced. I go over and grab my salad. On my way out, the cashier yelled to me, "Have a nice day, Bob!"
I want to go back there and give her a nice tip.
posted by dauber @ 10:21 PM
4 Comments:
Sean,
Yes, I spelled your name right. Very funny post. I had to reply because I saw you posted some Dr. Demento stuff today, 10/15, which happens to be my birthday. I think you just had yours also. It really sucks that not only are we not in our 20s anymore, but now over 30. Man it is depressing. BTW, Martha and I just celebrated out 10th anniversary. A whole decade. Being married isn't the depressing part, but that long? Man, seems like it was just yesterday. Let me know if you are in town for Christmas or whatever.
Later,
Scott
Scott, always great to hear from you! Man...I can't believe it's been ten years either! Seriously, nothing depressing about that -- just shocking that it's been so long! Geez, seems like just yesterday that we were having a sit-in protesting the threatened changes in our high school traditions! (Oh, wait...that's right...I chickened out and went to French class instead!) Yeah, we both turned 31...I can't believe my father is a senior citizen, my niece is twelve years old, and that almost every one of my favorite bands is missing at least one member due to a little thing called, uhh...being dead. Honestly, though, it's all about how you look at it. We're 31. I don't know about you, but I still feel 19 and (hopefully) act a lot younger, except that I'm married (Lisa and I recently celebrated our sixth), have a job, and pay bills. I thought I'd be depressed, but it doesn't feel any different from, say, five years ago.
I'll definitely be in touch with you -- will be out there for the holidays!
Scott, wait until you pass the 40 mark.
I'm putting my post-40 memoirs in a time vault for you guys.
Bob
http://wittybob.blogspot.com/
Update: I went to Panera to get a Caesar salad today. When the cashier asked for my name, I actually spelled it out: "S-E-A-N." What did the receipt say? "S-H-O-N." Good grief...
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