Playlist: Perfect Beatles Songs

Recently the hard drive on my iPod Classic died, so I replaced it with a hack that allows you to use an SD card. Advantage: your iPod capacity is now limited to the highest-capacity compatible SD card (in my case, 200 gigabytes) instead of the hard-set limit that Apple provided. (Disadvantage: the spring action that releases the SD card is very sensitive, so I drop my iPod, I have to pry it open and put the card back in the slot.)

This was about a year after I replaced my original MacBook, not realizing that for some reason my playlists didn't get backed up, so I have to re-create my playlists, including my "Perfect Beatles Songs" playlist. Unfortunately, I had no documentation of it, so I had to carefully take plenty of time to consider what songs deserve to be added. My wife and I often discuss what a perfect Beatles song is. I can't say there's a hard set definition, but perhaps an explanation of why each song made the list is in order. Here's the playlist:

1. Twist and Shout (source: stereo Please Please Me, 2009 edition) - Yes, I actually prefer the stereo mixes of the early albums, if for no other reason they sound brighter than the mono mixes. How can one not include "Twist and Shout" on a list of perfect Beatles songs? It's a cover, but one that blows the original out of the park. Some people prefer The Isley Brothers' version, but I don't understand how; it sounds clunky, and personally, that weird horn solo makes me think of The Three Stooges. Some argue that The Beatles were actually re-making The Top Notes' version, but I somehow doubt it. Regardless, one cannot deny the power of The Beatles' version, nailed in one take (a second complete take being recorded but not holding a candle to the first), and eventually becoming a standard concert opener.
2. She's a Woman (source: Past Masters, 2009 edition) - "She's a Woman," as a single side, represents the classic duality of Lennon and McCartney. Musically, if not lyrically, it has the same thing to say as its flip-side "I Feel Fine." A great second-song selection in concert, it also deserves a second-position place on this playlist. I chose a British version, as the Capitol-made remixes done by command of Dave Dexter sound like the song was recorded in a tin can in an abandoned subway tunnel.
3. Dear Prudence (source: Rock Band) - Despite its "There's no Santa!" quality of the killer drumming at the end being performed not by Ringo but by Paul, you can't deny: "Dear Prudence" is a Damn Fine Song. John obviously wanted to show off the fingerpicking he had just learned from Donovan back in India, and the hypnotic fingerpicking pattern provides a nice backdrop for a melody that doesn't really have all that many notes in it -- a typical Lennon habit (cf. "Help!," "Julia"). If I'm not mistaken, technically what you hear on the "white" album is Take 1. I don't have my Lewisohn book in close proximity as I type this, but I do believe that in 1968 EMI had acquired an 8-track deck, and with so many tracks to work with, at first if the Fabs messed up, they'd simply go back and wipe out the track with the mistake and re-record the one track. Yeah, I know, takes don't really work that way, but...it keeps the take count down. I sourced the song for this playlist from the Rock Band game, specifically from a stereo mixdown done by Paolo Castillo, because right now, this is the only way to get a version of "Dear Prudence" with a clean intro.
4. Something (source: 1+) - George Harrison perfection; it doesn't get any better than this. "There's no Santa Claus" realization: apparently George didn't like the killer bass line and wanted something much simpler. I often consider doing a crossfade mix going from the final orchestral strains of "The End" straight into "Something:" it could work very well.
5. Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown) (source: Rubber Soul, original 1965 stereo mix from the 2009 box set The Beatles In Mono) - If there was one and only one Beatles song that could be described as "perfect," "Norwegian Wood" would have to be it. I'm not saying it's necessarily my favorite Beatles song; indeed, to ask a fan "What's your favorite Beatles song?" would be akin The overall sound of the song says, "The Beatles are changing and making the world change, so listen up." I can even hear the narrator (FM deejay voice) over a (nonexistent, I take it?) promo advertising Rubber Soul, over the acoustic guitar intro: "There's a new sound from the Fab Four. Sit down, put a buzz on, and dig it." The song has everything: a refrain, verses, two bridges, an instrumental break, an exotic new instrument, a complete story, the classic songwriting team of Lennon-McCartney (although I suspect extremely light on the McCartney), and vocal harmonies...all in two minutes. Two minutes.
6. Ticket To Ride (source: Help!, mono version, 2009 edition) - I need to do further research into this, but I think that the instruments were tuned down the day that this song was recorded. Why else would this (and "I Need You," recorded on the same day) be in A-flat instead of A? (Supporting evidence: The Beatles always played the song in A in concerts and TV and radio appearances.) But whatever. Something about the song...nobody else's songs had this kind of vibe before. Interestingly, many people consider "Ticket To Ride" to be the song that led to the creation of heavy metal and headbanging, and I can't really dispute that; it's totally plausible. Is the song particularly loud or headbangy? Not at all, but still, it can work. I chose the mono mix about 75% because it has a better balance than the stereo versions, and about 25% in tribute to the Capitol single release, which 1) said that this (and, inexplicably, its B-side "Yes It Is") was in the movie Eight Arms To Hold You (and it was never corrected, even on later pressings!), and 2) never was certified gold. Beatles historian Bruce Spizer has on multiple occasions expressed bafflement over this anomaly; seriously, you want to make me believe that "Ticket To Ride" didn't ship a million copies in 1965, let alone in the 52 years since? Heck, half a million even? (The number for gold was lowered to 500,000 years ago.) What bridge do you want to sell me now?
7. Rain (source: Mono Masters) - The next time someone tells you Ringo was the "least talented" Beatle or repeats that thing that JOHN LENNON NEVER EVER EVER SAID about Ringo not being the "best drummer in the Beatles," sit that person's ass down with a good pair of headphones plugged into a recording of "Rain." Oh, yeah. And make sure that person knows that the backing track -- including Ringo's drumming -- was actually recorded at a faster speed and was slowed down before the vocals were overdubbed. Whoa. Yet another example of that A/B Lennon/McCartney dichotomy, this B-side musically says the same thing as "Paperback Writer," but in Lennon's voice. I chose the mono mix because I don't really like how the vocal is isolated to one side of the stereo with so much else going on.
8. Tomorrow Never Knows (source: Revolver, stereo version, 2009 edition) - I actually did consider using the mono version for this playlist. I like the pre-echo effect used on the guitar solo and the (slightly) different placement of some of the sound effects. But the stereo version sounds a lot brighter. The track itself? Wow. "An early clue to the new direction." Tape loops all over the place. Backwards guitar solo. An early (perhaps the first known?) use of an organ's Leslie speaker applied to a voice. An audio acid trip. One chord. Just a C chord droning, with one of the tape loops sometimes coincidentally changing it to a C7 chord. You want to see an amazing set of video footage that fits with this song perfectly? Go to YouTube and type "tomorrow never knows mad men" as the search terms. Oh, did I mention that this was the first song recorded for Revolver? And that it took only three takes to perfect?
9. Strawberry Fields Forever (source: It's Not Too Bad bootleg, US stereo mix) - I believe it was 1987 when I first heard "Strawberry Fields Forever." The only songs from the Magical Mystery Tour album I knew were the ones that were on the Reel Music compilation, but I had read bits and pieces about this song from various Trivial Pursuit "Baby Boomer Edition" questions and what I read in a few books I got from the library. When I finally heard the song on a '70s Capitol reissue of Magical Mystery Tour, it was exactly as I imagined it: Lennon psychedlic bliss. The Beatles recorded three different versions of "Strawberry Fields Forever." John Lennon told producer George Martin that he wanted to use both versions two and three for the final product. George said it'd be impossible because the two versions are in different keys and tempos. John said, "You'll figure it out." Solution: speed up version two a little, slow down version three a little; keys and tempos now match. The first part of the song is version two, second part version three. The edit is on the word "going" in the second chorus. I could go on for pages and pages about the significance of that edit being on that one word. Many people think the edit is brilliant; others, including Sir George himself, have said it's a terrible edit that sticks out like a sore thumb. I, however, wouldn't have it any other way. For this playlist I chose the US stereo version, as that's the one I had heard the first time. It's taken from a bootleg on the Vigotone label that traces the evolution of "Strawberry Fields Forever." The canonical version that you're likely to hear, be it on the radio or from your CD collection, is actually mastered from the German pressing of the Magical Mystery Tour album. Why? Because the German version is 100% in stereo, while the US version (remember, the UK didn't get the album until 1976!) was stereo except for the last three songs, which were fake stereo. But the US version has some extra reverb on the vocal that adds to the trippiness of the song; the German stereo mix has a pretty dry vocal, albeit with an extra "cranberry sauce" at the end that you won't hear on the US version.
10. I Am The Walrus (source: The U.S. Singles Collection, Dr. Ebbetts) - There is no question about it: if you're putting "Strawberry Fields Forever" on a "perfect Beatles songs" list, you also need to put "I Am The Walrus" on the same list. And they need to be next to each other. Most of the lyrics are nonsense, but overall the song is nothing short of genius, right down to the story of how the song came about in the first place. Heck, even Paul McCartney's selling point for the Magical Mystery Tour film is that it has "I Am The Walrus." This is arguably the most Beatle Beatles song ever. For this list I chose the US single version, which has an extra measure between the phrases "I'm crying" and "Yellow matter custard;" all other versions cut that out -- dammit, I want the whole product. Also, the stereo version suddenly switches to fake stereo for the second part because the radio and other effects were recorded live during the mono mixdown; a stereo mix is possible and has been done (by fans) but has not yet been released, which is another reason I opted for the (mono) US single version.
11. If I Needed Someone (source: Rubber Soul, original 1965 stereo mix from The Beatles In Mono) - George Harrison does The Byrds! Don't believe me? Listen to The Byrds' version of "The Bells of Rhymney," and then immediately listen to this. It's no surprise: during a press conference once The Beatles said that The Byrds were their favorite American band...which itself isn't a surprise because to get their overall look and feel, The Byrds literally went to see A Hard Day's Night and took notes on everything they saw. I chose the original 1965 stereo mix mainly because the guitar solo really jumps out -- you can actually hear fingerpicking during the guitar solo (probably done by John), but not so much on the mono mix or George Martin's 1986 remix (which is the canonical version, by the way).
12. Leave My Kitten Alone (source: Anthology 2) - Perhaps the biggest head-scratcher among die-hard Beatles fans is to think about how the Powers That Be deemed "Mr. Moonlight" to be releasable, but not "Leave My Kitten Alone." Really? Listen to that damn song and tell me it's not one of the ass-kickiest covers The Beatles ever did. Why on earth did it sit unreleased for 32 years?!
13. I Want to Hold Your Hand (source: Meet The Beatles!, mono, from the 2004 box set The Capitol Albums Vol. 1) - There's no question about including this song. Dippy? Sure. (Which may explain why The Beatles never performed it again after 1964 but still kept "She Loves You" in their concerts.) But what's not perfect about it? The chorus is short, easy, and catchy. The intro builds up into an explosion of The Beatles telling the world, "WE'VE ARRIVED! (and to prove it, we're here)" After "Love Me Do," "Please Please Me," and "She Loves You" were rejected by Capitol, who had right of first refusal on imported products from parent company EMI, Capitol finally...uhh, rejected "I Want To Hold Your Hand" until Capitol Records president Alan Livingston -- at the encouragement/demand of his wife -- stepped in and made Dave Dexter add it to the release lineup. What happened next? Oh, right...Beatlemania in the United States. How can you not include "I Want To Hold Your Hand"? I went with the mono version, as there isn't a decent enough stereo mix at my disposal, and I felt the version on the 2004 CD release of Meet The Beatles! has more punch than the other versions released on a digital medium (be it CD or download).
14. This Boy (source: Mono Masters) - When I first heard "This Boy," I thought it sounded way too professional to be an original. It had to be a cover of a Platters song or something. Then I looked at the credits. There were a few other Beatles songs that gave me the same thought: "It sounds too professional to be a Beatles original." I learned that if it sounds too good to be a Beatles original, it is a Beatles original. The three-part harmony is impeccable. Little subtle thing I noticed not too long ago: listen to George Harrison on the line "would always feel..." He sings the word "feel" with melisma. I chose the mono mix because the vocals need to be in both speakers.
15. She Loves You (source: Past Masters) - Honestly, I don't have much to say about "She Loves You" other than that it's loud, explosive, and in your face. The original session tapes were lost or erased, but then how are there so many different versions of this song with different edit points? I chose the version from the 2009 reissue of Past Masters because it's the cleanest sounding of all the edits. Oh, yeah: dig that G6 chord that George, John, and Paul sing on that final "yeah."
16. Please Please Me (source: Please Please Me, stereo, 2009 edition) - I'm pretty sure my original, lost-to-history version of this playlist did not have "Please Please Me." But its requirement is mandatory. Yes, we all know about the "started out a a Roy Orbison-esque slow song" story. But it is indeed the result of that story that made me create some room in the playlist for this song. "Congratulations, boys; you've just recorded your first #1," said Sir George Martin over the talkback at Studio 2, so legend has it. Sure enough, their second single hit #1 on four of the singles charts in England...except none of those four charts became the single de facto standard, hence its non-inclusion on 1. I chose the stereo version because, again, the stereo mixes of the early albums sound brighter to me, but more importantly, there stereo mix has a Lennon vocal slip-up on the last verse, followed by a semi-laughed singing of the phrase "Come on." How can you not love that?
17. Roll Over Beethoven (source: The Beatles' Second Album, stereo, from The Capitol Albums Vol. 1) - Yes, I've heard the Electric Light Orchestra version. Doesn't hold a candle to The Beatles' version. Show me a Chuck Berry song The Beatles didn't significantly improve. Go on, I dares ya. I chose the "Dexterized" stereo mix from their second Capitol Records album; it has a lot of excitement to it, which I learned as I was driving home from work in 2004 the day I got The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1, and as I was driving through Howell, NJ on route 33, this song burst out of the speakers. It made my 38-mile-one-way commute so much more bearable.
18. Kansas City / Hey Hey Hey Hey (source: Beatles For Sale, stereo) - It disturbs me to no end how much vitriol this Little Richard cover gets from fans. Come on, man! Nothing but excitement here, and how can you not yell "HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!" during the call/response part? Oh...and much like "Twist and Shout," the Fabs nailed this song in one take. Tried another take, wasn't as exciting, so take 1 was used. Stereo version is the only option.
19. You Can't Do That (source: A Hard Day's Night (UK), stereo) - I'll tell you why this B-side (and video outtake from A Hard Day's Night in which a teenage Phil Collins can be spotted in the crowd) is perfect. Beatlefest 1996 at the Hyatt Regency O'Hare in Chicago. A group of kids named Generations got up during the Battle of the Bands and just absolutely frickin' nailed "You Can't Do That." Before they even finished the opening riff, all Beatles fans in the ballroom were on their feet. Hear it live performed by a good band, and you'll truly hear how everything just comes together. Generations brought the place down. Sadly, they got knocked out in the finals after a lacklustre performance of "Twist and Shout." This song needs to be heard in stereo; it loses a lot in mono.
20. I Feel Fine (source: 1+) - This is another song that you need to sit your Ringo-hating friends down for. The drumming is nothing short of divine; listen to that cymbal work! Catchy riffs throughout the song, lyrics that stick in the brain, and that classic opening bit with McCartney's A-string making another guitar's A-string vibrate...just perfection from start to finish.
21. I've Got a Feeling (source: Let It Be...Naked) - Near the end of 1968, John Lennon wrote a song called "Everybody Had a Hard Year." His brother-from-another-mother Paul McCartney had another song he was working on called "I've Got a Feeling." Both songs had similar chord patterns. Put the two together and you have classic Lennon-McCartney synergy. Everybody on the recording -- Ringo on his drums, George with some great licks, John with some great vocals (check out the Yellow Dog bootleg Celluloid Rock for an outtake in which he's a dead ringer for Bruce Springsteen), Billy with some attention-grabbing electric piano seasonings, and a killer bassline from Paul -- is nothing short of essential. Listen to the version from the 2003 album Let It Be...Naked and enjoy the punch the song packs as opposed to its heavily filtered Spector production on the Let It Be album.
22. Golden Slumbers / Carry That Weight / The End (source: Abbey Road, 2009 edition) - I admit, I only put this on the playlist because I figured if I didn't, I'd get lynched. Truth be told, I'd most likely skip this simply because "A Huge Melody" is ubiquitous, especially the maudlin part 2. I guess you just can't deny the importance of these three tracks with their lyrics, George Martin's orchestral touches, Ringo's only drum solo, and the final sentence that was essentially The Beatles' farewell message to the world. For this playlist I actually have all three tracks merged into one big one. I left out "Her Majesty" for the same reason many people think the British version of Sgt. Pepper's goes too far by following the neverending chord with a dog whistle and chopped up tape.
23. Hey Jude (source: Mono Masters) - At least in the States, "Hey Jude" is The Beatles' most successful song. It's got a good message and is fairly easy to play on a piano or a guitar. If you question its inclusion on a list of perfect Beatles songs, then go to YouTube and look for the video of that guy cheering up an angry mob of delayed passengers at Newark International Airport by leading the crowd in a "Hey Jude" singalong. I admit I got sick of this song a long time ago, but when I listened to the mono version in 2009, it was a completely new experience, especially with the bass line.
24. Let It Be (source: Past Masters) - I tell ya, if there's anything that could make this song not perfect, it'd be if the ending were any different. Listen to those final chords and tell me it doesn't say, "SO THERE." Actually, if I had my druthers, I'd fly in the guitar solo from the album version and change the last verse so that it contains the line "There will be no sorrow." But hey, I'm tired; not gonna bother.
25. A Day in the Life (source: Love) - If you can listen to "A Day in the Life" and cannot understand its inclusion on a "perfect Beatles songs" list, then you're beyond help. I won't even try to explain it to you. I chose the Love version for two reasons: it includes Lennon's infamous "sugar plum fairy" count-in, and it has a clean start.

Should you choose to build this playlist yourself, be warned: it's a dangerous listen, hearing so much greatness in one sitting. You may not be able to talk for hours afterwards. Good luck.

The People Need to STFU Rant, Part 1: The iPhone 4

No, not that I'd ever deprive anybody of one's First Amendment rights, but I am finding a lot of people who need to just, well...shut up or go away. Allow me to explain two examples I recently encountered:

1) The people causing the iPhone 4 brouhaha, and
2) The bitchers and moaners on the #22 CTA bus heading northbound at around 12:30am today.

Now, let's start with the iPhone business.

Problems: there is a bug in the code that calculates the number of bars that should display to represent the signal strength; if you hold the iPhone a certain way during an active call, the call will drop because of the way the antenna is situated; and finally, one could accidentally disconnect a call if one's cheek (face cheek, smartass!) accidentally touches the virtual "End Call" button due to a bug in the phone's sensitivity thingy. (Technical, aren't I?) As a result -- especially of the antenna problem -- it seems the world is calling for Steve Jobs's head on a lance.

I have several things to say about this:

- I'm just going to ignore the cheek problem and the signal bar problem for now; Apple has acknowledged these issues and is working on fixes; in fact, the signal bar issue has been around since the very first iPhone.

- Wow. Microsoft continually knowingly releases buggy products that constantly require patches and updates, and nobody says diddly. A phone comes out with three reported problems and suddenly Apple is the root of all evil.

- "Just don't hold it that way" -- a bit of advice that offended the masses. Come on, now; this is nothing new. Don't believe me? Go to your favorite search engine and look for "nokia 2320 user manual:" you will find instructions that tell you how NOT to hold the phone, for the same reason!

- Apple denying there was a problem -- did they flat-out say there wasn't a problem, period, or did they say THEY haven't found a problem? There's a difference between a third party thinking they found a bug and Apple finding it.

- In fact, I don't believe Apple flat-out DENIED there was a problem; in fact they announced it was a software issue. Okay, this is a bit shady, but yes, you can theoretically use software to fix a hardware problem. (Hmmm...notice how when iPod firmware is updated, sometimes the result is a longer battery charge? So it goes to show that sometimes you can affect hardware with software.)

- There are reports that an anonymous developer leaked to the media that the development team knew all along that there were antenna problems, but the powers that be wouldn't listen to them. Okay, then why did this come out only after news got out that there were antenna problems? Why did the anonymous developer not warn us sooner?

- Speaking of leaking (unintentional rhyme, but damn, am I impressed!)...what about the prototype that was left behind in a bar? (Tell me that wasn't a setup.) Gee, I don't remember Gizmodo talking about the antenna problems. Makes me think that the brouhaha is more of a molehill than a mountain.

- Put a piece of insulating tape -- electrical tape, duct tape, whatever -- over the little black lines on the side of the iPhone. "I shouldn't have to do that!," I hear people say. CAN you do it? Then STFU and do it. These are the same people who bitch about, say, other people not volunteering to help clean up after a party, yet when you ask these people, "Did you ask anybody to help?" they say, "Well, I shouldn't have to." Oh, shut your face and do it if you have to.

- Another solution: put a bumper on the phone. Apple is giving those away with iPhone 4s now and is refunding the price to anybody who bought 'em before yesterday's press conference.

- "I demand a refund!" No problem -- there's a 30-day return policy; the iPhone 4, at the time of this writing, hasn't even been out for 30 days.

- The dropped call problem an issue that is only affecting some users. Thing is, Apple sold so many iPhone 4s at once -- more than they've ever sold before -- that it seems like more people are finding this bug all at the same time than usual, so it appears bigger than it is. And that it's not affecting everybody became very apparent to me yesterday when I personally tested three different iPhone 4s and tried my damnedest to disconnect phone calls that I made. I gave the phone the famous death grip that's causing all the problems. I tried with both my right and left hands. I even attempted to crush the damn thing. Result: call stayed connected, and when I watched the screen when I did this, signal bars didn't budge. (I also couldn't disconnect a call with my cheek, for the record.)

- Oh, and gee...people seem to not realize the exact same issue happened with the iPhone 3GS, yet nobody said a word. Hmmm. Go figure. Well, OK, to be fair, it wasn't the exact same issue -- the iPhone 4 problem happens on the left side of the phone, but the 3GS problem happens on the right side.

So everybody, just shut. the. fluorine. up.

My next STFU rant will be an extreme rarity: I'll be defending the Chicago Transit Authority.

Kick-Ass Beach Boys Song #2: "Marcella"

As there are merely hours left before Brian Wilson's birthday, it occurs to me that it's been a long time...a really long time...since I've discussed a "kick-ass Beach Boys song," and that was only the first one!

My last KABBS was "Surfin' USA" for what it was at the time and what it still means to this day, even for hodads like me who have never been on surfboards, unless you count a Boogie Board. This time, though, I need to draw attention to the next decade.

In 1972, the Beach Boys released an album called Carl and the Passions - "So Tough". It was an odd one for several reasons. First of all, the Beach Boys' name did not appear on the cover. (That's right, young 'uns -- that CD you have is an inaccurate representation of the original cover! The stenciled band name was added when Caribou reissued the album on CD in 1990.) Certainly that omission caused some confusion. Second, the album only had eight songs. Third, in the United States it was packaged as a double-album with a reissue of Pet Sounds, which meant that if you wanted to buy the new Beach Boys album that had only 8 songs, you had to buy Pet Sounds with it and pay for a double-LP. Perhaps the inclusion of Pet Sounds was to make up for the fourth oddity about this album: not much from Brian Wilson. Yeah, he's listed as one of the producers and a background vocalist, but he only had two songs on the album; at the time, this album had less input from Brian Wilson than any other new Beach Boys album.

However, one of the two songs he contributed, "Marcella," is pure gold. Based mainly on a then-unreleased song from 1969 or 1970 called "I Just Got My Pay," "Marcella" has a good driving rhythm with some nicely layered vocals, including a soulful Dennis Wilson countermelody that really stands out at the end of each verse. Just good, raw rock'n'roll. Sure, the track has some oddities, like the weird wordplay that's characteristic of many songs whose lyrics are cowritten by then-manager Jack Rieley, and the intro is very weird (single a high-pitched chord that sounds like a sledgehammer hitting the post of a chain-link fence), but once you get past that, pure enjoyment.

You want a true kick-ass experience? Get yourself a copy of Greatest Hits Volume Three: The Best of the Brother Years. Next time you go for a drive, pop it in the CD player. Now, crank the bass up...all the way up. And turn the volume up loud enough for you to enjoy it, but not loud enough that you ruin your ears. And keep the windows ROLLED UP. (You'll know the bass is forward enough and the volume is loud enough if you start to suspect your rearview mirror might rattle off the windshield or you're afraid your windows might shatter. Don't worry -- they won't.) Something about the mix or the mastering on this particular CD really packs an extra punch that you don't get on the other CD releases of "Marcella."

Or perhaps enjoy the version from the 1973 album The Beach Boys In Concert. The weird chord at the beginning is replaced by a really cool rock'n'roll riff on an electric guitar.

Is Brian Wilson performing near you soon? Then go to his concert -- he usually has "Marcella" in his set. (Word on the street is he loves performing that song.) The arrangement his band uses is basically the same as the version on In Concert except in the beginning, Brian plays some doo-wop chords on his keyboard with Taylor Mills improvising a wordless vocal over it. For the choruses, Paul Mertens whips out his diatonic A harp. And dig Mike D'Amico belting out the "Marcella, he-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-y" vocal during the end of the song..and count yourself lucky if Scott Bennett is designated to play the guitar solo that night. Wow. Just wow.

The Beatles' Definitive CD Versions: The 1966 Single

When you consider all that happened, 1966 was a pretty dark year for The Beatles and their fans. The "more popular than Jesus" comment was taken out of context. The trip to The Philippines proved to be disastrous, to say the least. Exhausted from touring, The Beatles as a touring unit threw in the towel, ending after John allegedly played the opening riff of "In My Life" at the end of the Candlestick Park concert that August. Unless you count the Capitol compilation Yesterday And Today and the U.S. singles taken from various releases, The Beatles' only audio releases of 1966 were Revolver and the single "Paperback Writer" b/w "Rain." Fans and the media were wondering if this meant the end of The Beatles. In a way it was, but in another way it was the rebirth of The Beatles.

The CDs and abbreviations used this time around for the whopping two songs:

• PM87 - Past Masters, Vol. 1, compiled in 1987 and released in 1988 to include Beatles tracks that didn't appear on the canonical album catalog.


• SINGLE - The Complete Singles Collection, a box set from 1992 that compiled all the Beatles' singles on mini-CDs, complete with reproductions of the picture sleeves.


• RED - the "red album," officially called 1962-1966 and sold as a two-CD set in 1993 despite the ability to easily fit the entire contents on one CD.


• 1 - the 2000 album that compiled the officially-recognized #1 hits from The Beatles in both the U.S. and U.K. Beatles fans the world over knew this album would be a huge flop (case in point: 1982's 20 Greatest Hits). Check the RIAA site to see what a flop it was.


• MM - Mono Masters, the mono equivalent to Past Masters found in the box set The Beatles In Mono.


• PM09 - Past Masters, 2009 remastered edition.

PAPERBACK WRITER

MONO VERSIONS:
SINGLE:
Good punchy sound, good equalization.

MM:
Still good, but the drums and bass have some extra punch that give the track more energy.


STEREO VERSIONS:
PM87:
Why were so many of the Beatles' single tracks given poor stereo mixes? The sound is pretty unbalanced.

RED:
Still not a great sound balance (why pan the drums hard-left and the bass hard-right?), but the sound is a marked improvement over PM87. It even sounds like this version was sourced from an earlier master.

1:
Sounds a lot like RED but more bassy. The vocals sound more sibilant, though, so the treble is just a skosh too high.

PM09:
I can't really tell the difference between this version and RED. Definitely brighter than PM87 without the vocal sibilance of 1.

Worst mono version: CD Singles Collection
Really tough decision -- yet another instance of picking the "less good" version.

Best mono version: Mono Masters
Overall a great sound on both mono versions, but the extra punch in the drums and bass push the latest mono version slightly over the edge.

Worst stereo version: Past Masters Vol. 1 (1987)
A relatively primitive mastering emphasizes the lack of balance among the instruments and vocals.

Best stereo version: 1
In terms of overall cleanliness and brightness, all the stereo versions after 1987 are good, but the emphasis on the bass wins me over on 1; also, the uneven balance doesn't sound as bad.

Definitive CD version of "Paperback Writer": Mono Masters
The mono version easily wins out. You can hear every instrument very nicely and cleanly. It's nice to hear the taps at the end of the second verse, mixed out in the stereo version. Also, the song is several seconds longer in mono, giving the fans more music to enjoy. Finally, you gotta love the echo effect at the end of each verse, which you just don't get on the stereo version. Classic!

---

RAIN

Anybody who calls Ringo "the least talented Beatle" obviously hasn't heard his drumming on this track. His style here is almost robotic. "Rain" is basically John's "Paperback Writer:" Lennon says the same thing McCartney says with "Paperback Writer" but in his own unique way, both musically and lyrically.

MONO VERSIONS:
SINGLE:
Good sound balance, but could use better equalization. Needs more treble!

MM:
Unfortunately, we don't have good EQ here, either. But as is typical with most of the mono tracks in the 2009 reissues, the bass has some extra emphasis yet without overpowering the rest of the sound.

STEREO VERSIONS:
PM87:
Just seconds into this track, you'll learn who the true star of the stereo version of "Rain" is: the tambourine. Eep...

PM09:
The only noticeable difference with this version is that John's vocal sounds a tiny bit brighter; everything else is the same.

Worst mono version: The CD Singles Collection
Truth be told, both mono versions are kind of...blah...but this one more so.

Best mono version: Mono Masters
Just a tad bit better than the version on the single box, with the stronger bass line.

Worst stereo version: Past Masters Vol. 1 (1987)
But not much worse than...

Best stereo version: Past Masters (2009)
The slightly cleaner sound on John's voice made me pick this version.

Definitive CD version of "Rain": Mono Masters
I hate to say it, but the stereo versions of "Rain" are just terrible. Once the vocals come in, the backing track is almost inaudible. The mix is very poorly balanced -- the backing track and lead vocals on the left, backing vocals and tambourine on the right...who does that?! The mono mix isn't anything to write home about, either, with its desperately-needed equalization. It's a shame that one of Lennon's finest moments doesn't get more respect.

---

The Beatles' Definitive CD Versions: The 1965 Singles

The CDs and abbreviations this time around:

• PM87 - Past Masters, Vol. 1, compiled in 1987 and released in 1988 to include Beatles tracks that didn't appear on the canonical album catalog.


• SINGLE - The Complete Singles Collection, a box set from 1992 that compiled all the Beatles' singles on mini-CDs, complete with reproductions of the picture sleeves.


• RED - the "red album," officially called 1962-1966 and sold as a two-CD set in 1993 despite the ability to easily fit the entire contents on one CD.


• CAPITOL (mono) - mono mixes from The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1 from 2004, specifically Beatles VI.


• CAPITOL (fake stereo) - Back in the '60s, if a stereo mix wasn't available for a song, engineers would apply crazy EQ and other effects to simulate stereo, and the result was usually atrocious. The "fake stereo" designation will refer to any tracks from The Capitol Albums from the "stereo" albums but are really processed mono. When I compare "best mono," "best stereo," etc. versions, anything that's actually fake stereo will be considered mono.


• CAPITOL (stereo) - if you can't figure out what I mean by this after reading my explanations for the other two Capitol designations, then you really need to put down the joint and come back after you sober up.


• 1 - the 2000 album that compiled the officially-recognized #1 hits from The Beatles in both the U.S. and U.K. Beatles fans the world over knew this album would be a huge flop (case in point: 1982's 20 Greatest Hits). Check the RIAA site to see what a flop it was.


• MM - Mono Masters, the mono equivalent to Past Masters found in the box set The Beatles In Mono.


• PM09 - Past Masters, 2009 edition, the two-volume remastered version.

YES IT IS

The B-side of "Ticket To Ride," there's not much more to say about this song other than it was, as Lennon once said, a failed attempt to come up with another "This Boy." There's nothing wrong with this track, mind you, it's just not the most standout song in the catalog. There are some things, I suppose, I need to mention: three-part harmonies, first time blah blah tone pedal blah blah George still figuring out blah blah, song possibly about a dead girlfriend/wife blah blah...

MONO VERSIONS:
SINGLE:
Good, full sound; balanced EQ; nice, even mix of vocals and instrumentation.

CAPITOL (mono):
The version that ended up on the mono Beatles VI doesn't really sound much different from the single version. The sound is still nice and full, and the EQ is respectable. There may be a bit more reverb and maybe a bit more on the high-end (unnecessarily), but overall, a pretty good playback. There is a bit more noticeable hiss, though, so either the version in the singles box was noise-reduced, or the American version suffers from the usual generational loss.

CAPITOL (fake stereo):
A horrible high-on-the-left, low-on-the-right reverb-laden fake stereo mix. Yes, I listened to this with headphones, and yes, one might have a different experience with speakers, but trust me, no matter how you listen to it, the result is bad. Yes, it is!

MM:
Again, a good, balanced sound with tasteful equalization -- which is a nice surprise, considering how much of the 2009 mono masters are sorely lacking in treble. The sound is slightly brighter than that of the singles box version.

STEREO VERSIONS:
PM87:
The stereo mix is really nice; it sounds quite ambient, and there isn't much in terms of hard panning. I hear an acoustic guitar in the left channel that I couldn't hear on the mono versions. There are a few dropouts, though. No noticeable hiss. The clarity is surprisingly good -- at the end, you can actually hear George's foot on the volume pedal.

PM09:
Even cleaner and brighter than PM87 -- there are only two or three dropouts throughout the whole track. However, I noticed that George's foot isn't as audible as on PM87!

Worst mono version: The Capitol Albums Vol. 1 ["stereo"]
Fake stereo at its second-worst. (For its first-worst, listen to the Beatles '65 "stereo" mixes of "She's A Woman" and "I Feel Fine."

Best mono version: Mono Masters
Plain and simple, a pleasure to listen to.

Worst stereo version: Past Masters Vol. 1 (1987)
But despite being "worst" (or should I say, "worse," because there are only two true stereo versions?), it's still not bad.

Best stereo version: Past Masters (2009)
Clarity and ambient, tasteful stereo separation -- really nice.

Definitive CD version of "Yes It Is": Past Masters (2009)
Yaaay -- the first instance in this little project of having both mono and stereo versions being from the newest set of reissues! Apple did this one right in 2009, especially the stereo version.

---

I'M DOWN

What do you do when the Little Richard song you've been using as a concert closer gets stale? You write your own Little Richard song to end with!

MONO VERSIONS:
SINGLE:
In terms of sound, not bad. Driving rhythm, good vocals, although there might have been a lot of noise reduction used on this version. It seems that through most of the song, though, the only audible instruments are drums, bongos, and bass; even the organ is pretty low-key until Lennon's solo.

MM:
A bright recording that once again de-emphasizes the organ. It almost sounds as if this version were mastered from an earlier generation; maybe the single version indeed was noise-reduced on the box set but not so much on MM?

STEREO VERSIONS:
PM87:
Actually, this isn't a bad recording -- nice, bright feel with an okay stereo balance. I do find myself wishing that the vocals were brighter, though. And that the bass and drums weren't panned hard-left. It's nice, though, how on the stereo version you can actually hear John's fingers (or elbow?) slide up and down the keyboard. I don't like that it fades out earlier, though.

PM09:
Wishing that the vocals were brighter? Wish granted! Actually, everything sounds noticeably cleaner: the vocals, the instruments, the overall sound...it sounds so fresh. Really nice. Even heard some laughter in the organ solo that I never heard before. I'm not saying it's not in the 1987 master, but it really jumped out on the 2009 master.

Worst mono version: The CD Singles Collection
I hate to say "worst" as it's still quite good.

Best mono version: Mono Masters
Just a tad bit better than the version on the single box.

Worst stereo version: Past Masters Vol. 1 (1987)
Not so much worst but least-good. (Or less-good...again with the grammar!)

Best stereo version: Past Masters (2009)
Brightness all around; to say that listening to this version is a pleasure is an understatement.

Definitive CD version of "I'm Down": Past Masters (2009)
Honestly, this was a tough decision, deciding essentially between the new mono and the new stereo masters. I went with the stereo version simply because it leapt out at me a bit more. Truth be told, listen to either, and you're in for a really nice treat. You can't go wrong.

---

WE CAN WORK IT OUT

If I'm being honest, I don't care for "We Can Work It Out." Too repetitive, too overplayed for me, too "so what?" for me. But it does feature a great example of Paul's songwriting on the topic at hand versus John's songwriting, and of course the earliest use of harmonium on a Beatles recording.

MONO VERSIONS:
SINGLE:
The sound is bright, but it sounds as if there's something missing. I guess the best way I can explain it is that the sound is bright yet hollow.

MM:
Okay, this is better. The treble was taken down a slight notch, but not enough to detract from the EQ. In fact, there's emphasis on the bass that's not on the single version. Very nice.

STEREO VERSIONS:
PM87:
There's something boring about this version. I don't quite know what it is, but there's something boring here. It might be in the vocals, which are panned hard-right and mixed too loudly.

RED:
A noticeable improvement over the 1987 version of Past Masters Vol. 1. The left channel (with the rhythm track) is potted up a little more, and the overall sound is brighter.

1:
Actually, this version doesn't sound too different from the "red album" version. I am noticing that the acoustic guitar in the left channel is easier to hear than on prior versions. Overall a pretty clean master.

PM09:
Slightly better than the red album version, but not as bright as the 1 version.

Worst mono version: The CD Singles Collection
Again, something is missing...

Best mono version: Mono Masters
...and it's in this version.

Worst stereo version: Past Masters Vol. 1 (1987)
Vocal channel too loud, overall sound too boring.

Best stereo version: 1
Best equalization, cleanest sound, and good balance of instruments plus vocals. (Yes, I did just take what I said about "I Feel FIne" and use it here. Got a problem with that?)

Definitive CD version of "We Can Work It Out": Mono Masters
This version has the best equalization. Also, the stereo versions have the vocals isolated to one side of the stereo, which can be distracting to hear.

---

DAY TRIPPER

When I first heard this song in the late '80s, for some reason I thought the guitar riff was reminiscent of early Kiss material. And of course, as with any other guitar-playing Beatles fan, when I taught myself to play guitar, this was the first riff I learned how to play.

Perhaps the rabid fans' favorite moment is the part on the line "Tried to please her" in which there's a sudden dropout of tambourine in what sounds like might be a bad edit. On stereo versions the dropout sounds to be isolated only to the right channel, with the tambourine, vocals, and lead guitar, so it sounds like this dropout is possibly a technical glitch that either happened during overdubs or is isolated to certain track(s) on the session tape.

MONO VERSIONS:
SINGLE:
Lots of hiss, and the equalization could use a little more treble. The infamous dropout during the last verse sticks out like a sore thumb.

MM:
Lots of hiss in the beginning that quickly goes away. A bit brighter than the single version and with more punch in the bass. The dropout is still there.

STEREO VERSIONS:
PM87:
While I've been writing about how much I wish there were more treble in the new mono remasters, on this stereo version of "Day Tripper" there's too much treble and not much bass. Overall the balance is pretty bad: too much tambourine, vocals isolated to the right channel, and the basic track on the left channel is too far in the background.

RED:
The left channel is mixed a bit louder than on PM87, the bass is slightly more audible, and the hiss at the beginning is virtually gone. As a result, the sound is noticeably better than on the 1987 version. However, the balance is still a little off.

1:
Sounds like RED but with less bass. Dropout is fixed with an edit, but if you listen carefully, you can spot said edit.

PM09:
Sounds just like RED but with the poor balance of PM87. Very clean and bright sound, though. The dropout is corrected as on 1, but the edit is either inaudible or very difficult to detect.

Worst mono version: The Complete CD Singles Collection
Yet another instance of the song not actually sounding bad, but there is a better version out there.

Best mono version: Mono Masters
Better balance of lows and highs.

Worst stereo version: Past Masters Vol. 1 (1987)
Too much treble, very unbalanced mixed.

Best stereo version: 1962-1966
Best stereo balance, best EQ, and the most recent stereo version that still has the beloved dropout.

Definitive CD version of "Day Tripper": Mono Masters (2009)
I picked the mono version because it's easier on the ears and has the best bass sound -- a driving bass truly helps this song get into its groove. And the dropout that the most fanatical listeners adore is loud and clear on this version. My ideal version of "Day Tripper" actually would be taking the best elements of the stereo mix (reverb on the vocals, which are dry on the mono version; louder vocals during the middle 8 -- the middle-8 vocals are nearly inaudible in mono) and the mono mix (driving bass line and longer fadeout).

The Beatles' Definitive CD Versions: The 1964 Singles

KOMM, GIB MIR DEINE HAND

In 1964, German record label execs were complaining that they can't have ideal sales on s ongs sung in English, so to comply with their requests, George Martin had The Beatles record their two biggest hits to date, "I Want To Hold Your Hand" and "She Loves You," in German. The group was on a short break in Paris during a tour and protested having to do this task for such a trivial reason on their day off, but who's going to defy George Martin's wishes? While they were at it, the guys also recorded "Can't Buy Me Love." The two German songs were released as a single in Germany, which is why I included it in the "1964 Singles" post.

The "Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand" vocals were overdubbed onto the "I Want To Hold Your Hand" multitracks. The lyrics were provided by a couple of Germanophones (is that a real world?) EMI outsourced; not only were the lyrics translated, but they were also changed so that there'd be a rhyme scheme in the new German version. (Indeed, do you remember the English lyrics ever saying "Oh, you are so pretty, pretty as a diamond"?)

There are two mixes: a mono mix and a stereo mix. On the stereo mix, the backing track is panned hard-left, while the vocals and handclaps are panned hard-right. Many fans have taken the "I Want To Hold Your Hand" stereo backing track as extracted from the Anthology DVD's 5.1 soundtrack and synched it up to the "Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand" vocal track to get a stereo version of the song with centered vocals; you can actually find my attempt on one of the Tuned To A Natural E compilations.

Now, let's talk about that music, shall we?

MONO VERSIONS:
PM87:
Interesting; I don't remember it sounding this bad before; then again, I've been listening to the Something New version ever since The Capitol Albums came out. Bad EQ. Also, it sounds like the tape "breathes" in some places, know what I mean?

CAPITOL (mono):
The Something New mono version is actually a really good track. The EQ is good, with enough emphasis on the bass and the treble to make it a really exciting piece of music. As for the mix itself, there's a great balance of all the instruments and vocals. The vocals are actually pretty dry, which surprised me because I'm so used to hearing them reverbed. There might be a tape glitch or two, but not enough to affect one's enjoyment of the song.

MM:
Take all the treble out of the Something New version, press it to a record, wear the record out severely, and you have, unfortunately, the 2009 Mono Masters reissue. It vocals are very distorted, and the equalization leaves much to be desired. I dunno, maybe I have a bad CD or something? But at least I didn't notice any tape glitches. Basically, this is the 1987 version but with vocal distortion.

STEREO VERSIONS:
CAPITOL (stereo):
Extremely bright sound. Unfortunately, the vocals are too loud, especially in the headphones. At the very beginning of the track, you can hear a voice (McCartney's?) and some whispering. There's a lot of hiss on this track; I'm guessing that The Beatles overdubbed their German vocals on a copy of the original multitracks, meaning there's one generation of analog tape lost, and of course most (if not all) of the Capitol albums were mastered from copies of the British masters, which means yet another generation of tape loss on this track, so it's understandable that there's noticeable hiss.

PM09:
Again with the bad mastering on the 2009 version -- what the heck?! The left channel sounds noise-reduced beyond all recognition, and there's just no equalization to speak of; it's all middle. The vocals sound a bit distorted, but not as distorted as on MM.

Worst mono version: Mono Masters
Uck. That's all I can say. Uck.

Best mono version: The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1
If you thought the 2004 box set releases of the American albums were unnecessary, you were sorely mistaken. Because of The Capitol Albums, we have a good-sounding version of "Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand."

Worst stereo version: Past Masters (2009)
I guess the German songs were considered a novelty or something; why else did they obviously get no care and attention on the reissue campaign?

Definitive CD version of "Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand": The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1 (mono)
The bright EQ, nice balance, and the intact excitement make the version from the mono Something New win out. The EQ easily puts it over the top against the 1987 and 2009 issues. As for mono over stereo? Quite simply, the stereo mix isn't balanced very well at all.

---

SIE LIEBT DICH

I don't care what any of the fan sites' conspiracy theories say, The Beatles rerecorded the backing track for this song because the "She Loves You" multitracks simply no longer existed; they were stolen, erased, or just plain lost, depending on whom you believe. If you don't believe me that the backing tracks are different, just listen -- it's very obvious. If you still don't believe me, refer to your Mark Lewisohn book.

Now...in Germany, this was the B-side of "Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand." "Sie Liebt Dich" was nowhere to be found in England in 1964 as a domestic product. In the United States, though, it found its way onto a Swan single, with "I'll Get You" on the B-side. You see, Swan argued that they had the right to release "She Loves You" on a single, and the label argued that because "Sie Liebt Dich" is the same song (just in a different language), then they had the right to release it as a single. However, the folks at Swan obviously didn't feel like arguing that logic to the blokes at EMI, as there's no record that they ever asked for a copy of the master, and in fact the Swan single was a copy of an Odeon record from Germany -- which is why Swan's release of "Sie Liebt Dich" didn't sound terribly good! I do believe EMI issued a cease and desist to Swan, saying that Swan had the right to release the master of "She Loves You" as a single -- "Sie Liebt Dich" obviously was not the "She Loves You" master!

The next time we got to hear the song in the States was in 1980, on a Capitol Records compilation called Rarities, which included a stereo mix of the song. As with "Komm, Gib Mir Deine Hand," the stereo mix of "Sie Liebt Dich" pans the backing track to the left and the vocals to the right.

MONO VERSION:
MM:
There's definitely some emphasis on the bass on this version. In fact, the lows sound distorted, and the vocals sound distorted. No audible tape glitches; however, in some parts of the song, it sounds like the recording was mastered from a record, but in other parts the sound is pretty clean. The EQ definitely could benefit from some treble.

STEREO VERSIONS:
PM87:
What? You thought this was a mono version? Because it says that in the liner notes? And it sounds like mono to you? Well, apparently this is actually a very, very tight stereo mix. Sounds like mono to me. Oh well. EQ is okay, but it sounds like there are a lot of tape glitches. Actually, the last "Ooooooooooh!" does sound like it's isolated to the left channel.

PM09:
Definitely has a full, wide stereo separation. The instruments are hard-left, and the vocals are hard-right. The EQ is much better than on both MM and PM87, the vocals are much cleaner than on MM, and the tape glitches present on PM87 are gone here.

Worst version: Mono Masters
Because it's debatable as to whether the 1987 version is stereo or mono, I'm not doing a best/worst mono/stereo here. MM has absolutely the worst sound, period. The bass and vocals are darn near unlistenably distorted, and the equalization is terrible.

Definitive CD version of "Sie Liebt Dich": Past Masters (2009)
Bright sound throughout, no tape glitches, and no distortion. Yeah, the stereo separation makes for awkward listening -- especially with headphones -- but it's definitely the most enjoyable version.

---

I FEEL FINE

Yeah, yeah, accidental feedback, blah blah blah...but I hesitate to call it "feedback." True guitar feedback is definitely not anything like what's at the beginning of "I Feel Fine." I think what happened, rather, was that the plucking of Paul's A string on his bass was picked up by the A string on one of the other guitars, and because the two strings were perfectly in tune with each other, the 6-string's A-string started vibrating and ergo audibly sounded. That's not feedback, my friends. That's just plain cool. It's also what makes it possible for the human voice to break glass. But whatever caused this avant garde opening to happen, it certainly contributed greatly to what arguably could be considered a Perfect Beatles Song.

Yeah, it's great that September 9, 2009 saw the remastering of The Beatles' canonical catalog, but we still don't have the "whisper" version of "I Feel Fine" -- that is, the version that appeared on the European releases of the "red" album and on which you can hear some whispering before any music starts. Most references specify that it was the British version, but I have a red vinyl pressing from France that has the whispering at the beginning. Anyhoo....

MONO VERSIONS:
SINGLE:
It sounds to me as if the version in the singles box (which, I assume, is the same version used to press the original UK single) were mastered with A.M. radio in mind. I'm not saying this is a bad thing -- in fact, there's something exciting about this song. You can almost feel how exciting it was to hear this song coming out of a transistor radio. It's an amazingly clean recording; you can hear each instrument very distinctively. Yeah, there could be some more treble, but it's a damn fine recording nonetheless.

EP:
Sounds like there's less reverb in the intro. Definitely more bass than on the single version, maybe a bit more treble. Nice recording. Sounds like it might have been mastered with the home listener in mind rather than the A.M. radio listener, know what I mean? I guess you could say it sounds a bit more danceable than the single version.

CAPITOL (mono):
Holy reverb, Batman; The Fab Four must have recorded this in a cavern! Okay, this is one song from which Dave Dexter's engineering goons really should have stayed away. I don't know how to explain it, but the reverb makes this song sound less...real. Less honest. Think of a rainy day in New York City; that's what this version sounds like.

CAPITOL (fake stereo):
Oh, dear God, what did The Beatles do to deserve the hack job that Capitol did on this? And how dare they call it "stereo"?! Forgive Dave Dexter and his staff, Lord; they knew not what they did. Actually, scratch that -- please don't forgive them. Ouch. High/low fake stereo plus duophonic echo delay plus excessive reverb equals cheapening of The Beatles equals unhappy Sean. (Excuse me while I go clean out my ears, now; this bad fake stereo made my earwax run.)

MM:
*Whew!* Much better. This is by far the cleanest-sounding mono version, in that it's definitely not laden with noise reduction, no noticeable tape glitches, just very clean. You can actually hear the plectrum strike the strings on John's guitar right at the end of the instrumental break. However, the equalization needs help. As usual, more treble, please. The bass is pretty cool, though.

STEREO VERSIONS:
PM87:
Nice clean recording, could use a bit more EQ balance. "I Feel Fine" definitely sounds cool in stereo. I do wish the drums were a bit louder. The lead guitar overpowers everything during the instrumental break.

RED:
The vocals sound a bit brighter than on PM87. Lead guitar is still a bit overpowering, and I'm severely underwhelmed by the drums.

1:
The 1 version sounds incredibly bright and clean from the beginning. The bass is a little more pronounced than before. Drums are, thankfully, more audible; the overall stereo balance is a little better than on prior stereo CD releases. Brightness all around. John's vocals are so clear you can actually hear the saliva -- whether that's good or bad is up to you!

PM09:
Certainly an improvement over PM87 and the red album, but not over 1. The equalization isn't as good, and there's noticeably more hiss from the beginning and lasting all the way through. The balance isn't that great -- the vocals overpower the song, and most of the backing instruments are hard to hear; the exceptions, as usual, being John's and George's guitars.

Worst mono version: The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1 (fake stereo)
Maybe it was Dave Dexter taking out his frustration on The Beatles? After all, he didn't want to sign them. Brian Epstein went over his head to his boss. That's the only logical explanation I can think of: revenge.

Best mono version: The Compact Disc EP Collection
Barely edging out Mono Masters, this version has the best overall sound, with the excitement jumping out quite well.

Worst stereo version: Past Masters Vol. 1 (1987)
Not the best sound in the world, and the guitars are too overpowering.

Best stereo version: 1
Best equalization, cleanest sound, and good balance of instruments plus vocals.

Definitive CD version of "I Feel Fine": 1
Hands-down, noticeably the best version all around.

---

SHE'S A WOMAN

The "I Feel Fine" / "She's A Woman" single combination is one of several that exemplifies an amazing pairing of John Lennon and Paul McCartney each saying the same thing in their own ways; if not lyrically, then musically. We had similar pairings with "Paperback Writer" and "Rain," "Hey Jude" and "Revolution," and perhaps most strikingly, "Penny Lane" and "Strawberry Fields Forever." This, ladies and gentleman, is a hell of a combo.

That's all I need to say, except that if you're an obsessive collector, there's an interesting outtake of "She's A Woman" on Unsurpassed Masters Vol. 2 that will make you think that Robert Plant took over the vocals at one point.

MONO VERSIONS:
SINGLE:
Right away I didn't care much for the sound. The intro chords sounded as if they were coming from a Hills Bros. coffee can. When the body of the song kicks in, though, the sound is a bit better, with a great bass line. As with many mono singles, it sounds as if it were mastered with A.M. radio in mind. Not the best EQ, but there is an overall good balance of all instruments and vocals.

CAPITOL (mono):
Again with the reverb, Capitol, what the hell?! EQ needs help, too -- too much high and middle, not enough low. All the reverb tends to drown out the piano. During the first refrain, somehow the vocals are noticeably overpowered; probably again blurred by the reverb.

CAPITOL (fake stereo):
Dave Dexter was a murderer; his engineers hit men. Need I say more?

MM:
This would be an amazing listen, if it only were for more treble in the equalization. It also sounds severely noise-reduced.

STEREO VERSIONS:
PM87:
Again, could use a bit more EQ balance. Interestingly, the vocals sound most affected by poor EQ. Most of the instruments and vocals balance nicely, but the maracas are too loud, and the piano is too quiet.

EP:
From the stereo bonus EP from the EP box, that is. The overall sound is a huge improvement over PM87. Also, we get something that's not on any other CD version legally released: a count-in. Maracas are still too loud and piano too soft, but still a good listening experience.

PM09:
Certainly the loudest-mastered of all the version, but still pretty good sound. The EQ isn't as good as on the EP version, but the sound itself is crisper and cleaner. The maracas aren't overpowering, and the piano is actually at a nice level.

Worst mono version: The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1 (fake stereo)
Yuck. I think when it's my time to go, the first thing I'll do is find Dave Dexter and asked why, oh why he felt it necessary to slaughter a classic.

Best mono version: The Complete Singles Collection
Mono Masters would have won if it didn't sound so noise-reduced.

Worst stereo version: Past Masters Vol. 1 (1987)
Did people not believe in equalization?

Best stereo version: Past Masters (2009)
What put this over the top was the clean sound and even balance of all the elements of the song.

Definitive CD version of "She's A Woman": Past Masters (2009)
I think the mono version itself is more exciting, but the only way I could imagine that winning this contest is if you had a playback system that enables you to crank up the treble -- it truly is exciting. However, since not everybody has that luxury, I have to go with the version that sounds the best without any tweaking. The new Past Masters version wins.

The Beatles' Definitive CD Versions: The 1963 Singles

So, I finally get a chance to analyze The Beatles' 1963 output in singles. It took a while, mainly because most of the single tracks have appeared on numerous Beatles CDs. Just to give you an idea of what I was dealing with, I have roughly a 45-minute commute home using the local mass transit system. Well, I worked on part of this project on the way home, and listening to "She Loves You" alone took almost the entire train ride. And I'm sure that if I had the headphones turned up loud enough, whoever was sitting next to me must have been ready to kill me.

For this round, I dealt with the following Beatles singles:

• "From Me To You" b/w "Thank You, Girl"
• "She Loves You" b/w "I'll Get You"
• "I Want To Hold Your Hand" b/w "This Boy"

You may have noticed I left out "Please Please Me" b/w "Ask Me Why." I'll cover these when I take care of the Please Please Me album. But the six single tracks have been released on several different CD releases over the years; here's a guide to them and abbreviations I'll be using to keep things nice and tight:

• PM87 - Past Masters, Vol. 1, compiled in 1987 and released in 1988 to include Beatles tracks that didn't appear on the canonical album catalog.


• SINGLE - The Complete Singles Collection, a box set from 1992 that compiled all the Beatles' singles on mini-CDs, complete with reproductions of the picture sleeves.


• EP - The Compact Disc EP Collection, just like the singles box but a compilation of EPs. The EPs that are apropos to this installment of my obsessive analysis are The Beatles' Hits, The Beatles' Million Sellers, and a "bonus" EP included in the set of stereo mixes, simply titled The Beatles.


• RED - the "red album," officially called 1962-1966 and sold as a two-CD set in 1993 despite the ability to easily fit the entire contents on one CD.


• CAPITOL (mono) - mono mixes from The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1 from 2004. Albums within this set that apply to this entry are Meet The Beatles! and The Beatles' Second Album.


• CAPITOL (fake stereo) - Back in the '60s, if a stereo mix wasn't available for a song, engineers would apply crazy EQ and other effects to simulate stereo, and the result was usually atrocious. The "fake stereo" designation will refer to any tracks from The Capitol Albums from the "stereo" albums but are really processed mono. When I compare "best mono," "best stereo," etc. versions, anything that's actually fake stereo will be considered mono.
  
• CAPITOL (stereo) - if you can't figure out what I mean by this after reading my explanations for the other two Capitol designations, then you really need to put down the joint and come back after you sober up.


• 1 - the 2000 album that compiled the officially-recognized #1 hits from The Beatles in both the U.S. and U.K. Beatles fans the world over knew this album would be a huge flop (case in point: 1982's 20 Greatest Hits). Check the RIAA site to see what a flop it was.


• MM - Mono Masters, the mono equivalent to Past Masters found in the box set The Beatles In Mono.


• PM09 - Past Masters, 2009 edition, the two-volume remastered version.

Now, on to the music; if you want the extremely lengthy details, click here:

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FROM ME TO YOU

Worst mono version: Past Masters, Vol. 1 (1987)
Just plain bad sound.

Best mono version: 1
Quite simply, this version has the best EQ and overall sound clarity.

Definitive CD version of "From Me To You": Past Masters (2009)
There was something I always loved about the reverb on the stereo version. It's hard to describe, but it sounds different from any other reverb that I've heard on any other Beatles song. Plus, the sound on the stereo Past Masters is very clean; really, you'd think it was mastered by Paul's grandfather.

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THANK YOU, GIRL

Worst mono version: The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1
Partly because it sounds like it was recorded in a can of sardines, and partly because it's a fake mono mix, in that Dave Dexter's goons just took the stereo mix and combined the two channels to make a mono version. Boooooooo!

Best mono version: The Compact Disc EP Collection
Best EQ overall and with the least amount of distracting noise and tape glitches.

Stereo Versions
CAPITOL (stereo)
Okay, the overall sound is just plain harsh. The EQ isn't all that great, and there's too much extra reverb. Not good! Also, the playback is slow and makes the song drag a bit.

PM09:
Much cleaner stereo mix than Capitol's. Still not great, but much more enjoyable.

Definitive CD version of "Thank You, Girl": Past Masters (2009)
But admittedly, not by far. I think the overall balance sounds better on the mono mix, but the stereo version sounds cleaner, brighter, and has the harmonica parts that make the sound as a whole complete.

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SHE LOVES YOU

Worst version: 1
The sudden EQ change on the "pride" edit, resulting in the sound being severely marred for the remainder of the song, make this probably the least-desirable CD version of "She Loves You."

Definitive CD version of "She Loves You": Past Masters (2009)
I think I had to judge this one on cleanliness. The various versions of "She Loves You" sound good, but unfortunately not great. Also, this one has the smoothest edits and the least drastic changes in equalization after the "pride" edit.

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I'LL GET YOU

Overall, there isn't really a great-sounding version of "I'll Get You," which is a shame because it's a good song. I'd love to have a version that has the EQ of the Capitol fake stereo with the cleanliness of the single version.

Worst version: The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1
The EQ leaves much to be desired, and the extra reverb doesn't help, nor does the relative loudness.

Definitive CD version of "I'll Get You": The CD Singles Collection
But not by far, honestly.

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I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND

Worst mono version: The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1
That is, the so-called "stereo" version from Meet The Beatles! The "Dexterization" absolutely adds nothing.

Best mono version: The Compact Disc EP Collection
Taken from The Beatles' Million Sellers. Nice EQ, nice mix, almost makes me want to get up and dance -- and let me tell ya, I do not dance.

Worst stereo version: Past Masters Vol. 1 (1987)
Just a lifeless recording with vocals and lead guitar that are way too loud.

Best stereo version: Past Masters (2009)
I think a good way to describe this version is this: Take the best mono mix and make it stereo. Good sound all around, and definitely the most exciting-sounding stereo version that's ever been officially released by EMI on CD.

Definitive CD version of "I Want To Hold Your Hand": The Compact Disc EP Collection
Mind you, since 1988 the stereo version has been drilled into me. It's what was on the CD (remember, the original Past Masters came out in 1988, not 1987, although it was mixed in 1987), and ergo it's also what's been played on the radio ever since. But the mono mix definitely has the edge. Remember, "I Want To Hold Your Hand" was the first song The Beatles ever recorded on a 4-track tape, so the folks at Abbey Road were just learning how to record with it. As a result, we don't have the best balance, so the true stereo mixes have to be pretty primitive.

The mono versions, though, wow. I think my first exposure to a true mono version of "I Want To Hold Your Hand" was when I got The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1, and I listened to the mono Meet The Beatles! in my car on my way home from work. Mind you, I was not quite 30 years old at the time, but I'd been familiar with "I Want To Hold Your Hand" all my life -- I heard it everywhere: the radio, music systems in stores, lip-sync competitions (I grew up in the '80s), you name it...and to be honest with you, I got sick of it long before I became a Beatles fan in 1987. But when I heard the mono Meet The Beatles! on CD, I turned the volume up. Just the excitement...forget the lyrics, it was the music that was making the statement -- and what a statement it was. I suddenly understood what it must have been like to be a Beatlemaniac in 1964, and it only took me 17 years of being a Beatles fan to do that.

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THIS BOY

Worst mono version: The Capitol Albums, Vol. 1
Specifically, I'm referring to the "stereo" mix of Meet The Beatles!
Just no. That's all I have to say.

Best mono version: Past Masters (2009)
This was a tough one. I prefer the EQ on the mono Capitol version, but I think I had to go with cleanliness, as the various elements on the recording on PM09 sound cleaner, while the Capitol version has tape glitches (not to mention a lower tape generation).

Worst stereo version: Past Masters, Vol. 1 (1987)
It's not so much that it's a bad version, just the least-good. The truth is that all the stereo versions sound very nice and are pretty clean.

Best stereo version: Past Masters (2009)
Good EQ, crisp sound throughout, and a good balance make this the best of the three stereo versions we've been given over the years.

Definitive CD version of "This Boy": Past Masters (2009)
Yes, the stereo mix has all the vocals panned to one side, which is generally frowned upon, but you know what? The newest stereo release of the song has the brightest sound and, to my ears, was the most pleasant listen of the seven versions that have been released on CD.